Hit points are a resource and I am no hoarder

I know this is just a shitpost, but the key question is what kind of monster is doing the attacking. Mindless beast? It'll attack whatever's nearest. Vaguely competent humanoid? They'll probably focus on the guy in his pyjamas who's raining death from his fingertips over the one in armour thicker than their head.

A mindless beast, like a wolf that's known for stalking it's prey and going for a weak one to pull it away from it's group?

Ranger should have pumped it with arrows before it got close.

Wolves aren't so mindless!

Yeah, some systems eliminate this meme's problem by making clear it's the logical thing to do in-world thus totally expected.

With my paladin i solve this by getting pissed, healing myself for 50 ( lay on hands, all the points in 1 go ), transforming ( the celestial thing ), and start disarming them. The ranger knows the cue and will kill them so hard for it haha. If that doesnt work, smite that fucker for trying to damage me that much. If not hitting at all ( my ac is 23 lawl )

I have been enjoying Fabula Ultima's system of randomly determining targets.

Wizard I ran DND for in didn't love this, but understood it. The real problem with that group is we kept changing DMs, and some were a lot more easy going. You gotta get on the same page as a group

Honestly, the more I've played Fabula the more I've realized it's everything I liked about D&D and none of the stuff I disliked (except scheduling issues)

Do people who make these memes actually play at tables like this, or is this hyperbole for the sake of clicks? Do they play at all?

Good luck, I have 7 backup character concepts at all times

And would almost certainly do anything in its power (especially running away from the creature three times its height and aware of them enough to fight back and summoning lightning from their pointy stick) to avoid getting hurt, because there are no wolves afraid of being called chicken because those who keep fighting for stupid reasons die of sepsis?

Wolves have an intelligence of 3, few beasts "more mindless" would be aggressive enough to face tank the party. I guess all I'm really saying is that there really isn't that much in the game that should stand and deliver against the closest enemy until it dies

Are they all bards?

OK, when I said "beast" I should really have said "monster", because things like oozes, constructs, and undead are often stupid enough to do just that

Every single boss in my campaign is a leveled bard. I'm proving a point by minmaxing the shit out of them, but they are all legal characters. My players are gonna hate it when every boss reveal starts with a Broadway musical. My favorite is a bard with some druid spells, a speed potion, and a couple other secrets making his base speed 120. Add in tree stride, and the party will never know from what direction he will strike. High dex means high ac and a finesse weapon. Get in, strike, get out. Plenty of attacks of opportunity for the players, so it's not completely cheesing. I could give him a ranged weapon but that tastes like cheese. I want the players to have an actual hard fight with a chance to win. All this, all of it, was because my wife asked me to make a bard boss and I ran with it.

It was clear what you meant, but you left an opportunity for someone to be *technically correct* and they jumped all over it

Yeah, fair enough; seems we're saying the same thing then. I really got the impression from the initial comment that only uniquely smart things would use tactics. I can see how that might have been meant more broadly

Let's see, I cast ... You out the window. That's not aAAAAHHHHHHHHH