I was supposed to write a course outline but I forgot to do it.

Somehow from the time I woke up to now this mistake has morphed into a notion that I am the worst most disorganized teacher in the known universe, an idea that I was suffering from some kind of incurable, probably fatal ennui that has robbed me of all joy in doing mathematics, and the conviction that everyone would send me angry emails by end of day. (the worst one)

None of this happened, in fact, nobody noticed that I forgot.

This tendency to catastrophize everything is so bad it will some day result in a fatal heart attack that kills me. Not from reading an angry email but rather just from contemplating the evidence one might exist when I see there is a little red “1” unread message waiting for me in the email app—

I will imagine an email so angry, and impossible to reply to that I will simply vaporize into a wisp of pure anxiety!

And this could happen at any moment!