@chozari @onekind I was at my father’s death, my family left because they could cope. I was there before, during and after and talked to him all the way through. Held his head. I *knew* he was there and listening even though he could not respond.

@SeaFury Same! Mum told me afterwards she had a kind of nausea reaction. I think it might be different for us daughters; we have a duty to perform as older Chinese daughters in that moment, and we go into “duty” mode. I do think if we feel like those acts of filial piety are happening naturally for us our fathers have left the world having received what I’ve read in the research our dads in particular view as the mark of a successful life. @onekind

@chozari But also, I have had NDE and it did not scare me. Death is like a doorway. Not an end. Buddhist philisophy too! @onekind

@SeaFury Did you feel a moment where you could pick which way you went? I had that moment and decided to go back and make my lungs start working. @onekind

@chozari I was not in myself and watched. I didn’t pick. I just watched what happened. @onekind

@SeaFury @onekind (tell me to STFU if my curious questions are too much) Do you remember having thoughts or feelings or any such earthly sensation? I felt like I’d gone behind the veil… like it’s all just so stupid to even HAVE THOUGHTS or be worried about anything. Even my kids, which is bananas. But not. Because I knew they would also “know” this way. THE way. That’s why the Taoist stuff works for me. I didn’t just “see” the Way; I had joined it.

@SeaFury @onekind When I came home from hospital, Beardy nursed me for a couple of months. He started playing this to help me sleep. I was like, HOLY SHIT THIS IS WHAT I JUST SAW WHEN I DIED OMG! But I don’t actually recall saying it to him. I just lay around unable to do more than get to the toilet or take little gradual shuffles about the garden. But I thought about it constantly. I was like, “How did Lao Tzu KNOW??”

@onekind @SeaFury oops forgot link: https://youtu.be/JTr4YK4hLO8?si=O0oeVMziB9SVC1jr

@chozari @SeaFury I just love that we're having this wide-ranging, life-affirming conversation under the content warning 'on the evolving definition of death.' autistic friendship is the best 🥰

@onekind I love it! All too rare in my IRL @chozari

@SeaFury @onekind Thank god someone likes my pummelling interrogations. A mate of mine who was a CEO of a local social services sort of org who did wonderful things to bring it into the 21st century did an interview with me for the magazine once and I just indulged my curiosity beyond the point that I’d got enough for a feature article and at one point he just leaned back in his chair and started chuckling at how much I HAD TO KNOW THE THINGS.

@chozari @SeaFury (credit: Strange Æons)

@SeaFury @onekind Oh I fuggin’ love that.