Laszlo Cravensworth

You wretched muck-a-muck vagrant bedswerving bobolyne!

"I'm having a cyclops blindingly good time!"

gotta update that for some rizz and skibidi or something

Literally can't read that name without the voice.

[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/771/)

Randall Munroe is a time traveler.

Don't even have to click it to know which is it. Randall Munroe is omnicient.

Typical Malkavian

My penis is bleeding.

Alternatively: vampires who still don't know how to use any slang that evolved after their own youth. "I'm carrying this team like the beast with two backs" "Never look a Trojan horse in the mouth" "She was so mad her face launched a thousand ships" "If circuses had bread, then the clowns wouldn't eat lost children"

> My eyes are bleeding Morrissey: “please, please tell me why, a vampire bit me in the eye”.