You remembering you only have 4 HP in real life.

You have 4? I only have 2!

I've been leveling up at the gym.

Sure but a 75% chance it isn't fatal and I can just sleep it off. Plus I get death saves, right?

....yeah....

1d8. There's a 12.5% chance that literally any damage will kill you. I feel like those people would die off faster, so really you should be rolling HP with advantage.

But as a commoner you only have 4hp

So you can survive up to three stabs, but not four. Or more hilariously, 18 full seconds of being attacked.

18s isn't even the maximum. If you are stabbed by another commoner, they have only a chance of 65% to hit your ac, so the average damage per turn is 2.5*0.65=1.625 On average, you would survive 12s and become unconscious after 18s, dying after 24s from two more direct attacks

Presumably, someone attempting to mug you would probably be a bandit (+3 to hit, +1 to damage), not another commoner

A 1/4th chance of of death is better than none. Then I just need to make sure to lower my constitution and find an attacker with good dexterity. That makes it 3 quarters. If we allow the use of the "Oops all 6s" joker from Balatro that becomes a 4 quarters (100%) chance unless I for some reason turn out to be a player character.

NPCs don't get death saves. If you're a player character you probably already have more than 4hp. Unless you're a wizard with 6 or 7 constitution… If you are a wizard can you teach me some magic tricks?

What if they're not very good at it 'cause it's their first day