Is it just me or does this ad for pistachio milk feel a little… pushy?
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why can’t it just be
“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”
Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
@futurebird @Karen5Lund "Don't sell the pistachio milk, sell the sizzle. Put a cast-iron pan to the fire, wait until it's very hot, pour some pistachio milk.
Scream in pain as the instantly boiling pistachio milk scatters everywhere and burns your delicate skin.
Táche."
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@futurebird “I'm the captain now„
help!
help someone please help!
the nutmen have attacked and they are running the city now!whatever do we do
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Is it just me or does this ad for pistachio milk feel a little… pushy? over ambitious?
What? I don’t even get a say in this?
Just the whole city… captured by big nut.
(I think this would feel less alarming if they’d left off the word “now” — and it would feel less alarming if I didn’t feel so fragile at the moment about strange incomprehensible forces coming in and taking over out of nowhere)
@futurebird if it were in Philly, they could have said “Philly runs on Táche anymore,” and then it would be ok.
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why can’t it just be
“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”
Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
"Pistachio Milk: It's a Thing Now! Available in Unusually Bougie Bodegas Citywide"
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@futurebird @Karen5Lund "Don't sell the pistachio milk, sell the sizzle. Put a cast-iron pan to the fire, wait until it's very hot, pour some pistachio milk.
Scream in pain as the instantly boiling pistachio milk scatters everywhere and burns your delicate skin.
Táche."
now THATS advertising
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now THATS advertising
@futurebird @Karen5Lund Táche rejects all liability for medical care derived from buying the sizzle
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why can’t it just be
“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”
Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
@futurebird@sauropods.win @Karen5Lund@mastodon.social I want to hire you to do my ads but I don't have any budget for ads.
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why can’t it just be
“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”
Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
@futurebird @Karen5Lund But can I get it chocolate flavored? Basic nutritional information, there.
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Is it just me or does this ad for pistachio milk feel a little… pushy? over ambitious?
What? I don’t even get a say in this?
Just the whole city… captured by big nut.
(I think this would feel less alarming if they’d left off the word “now” — and it would feel less alarming if I didn’t feel so fragile at the moment about strange incomprehensible forces coming in and taking over out of nowhere)
@futurebird The name makes it sounds like moustache milk, and although I don't know what that is exactly, I definitely don't want any.
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why can’t it just be
“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”
Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
@futurebird "we have the nut juice" would actually go well in my area, especially during Folsom fair season.
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@futurebird There is also a big ongoing pistachio recall because whatever farm or region most pistachios in North America come from seems to have a salmonella problem! So I guess these advertisements are going up while there is a huge issue with contaminated pistachios.
@MisuseCase @futurebird California is mostly where they’re grown in North America. Huge amounts of our water goes to almond and pistachio orchards
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why can’t it just be
“buy our product. we think we did a good job making it. it’s like milk but made of nuts. idk. we ground them up and put them a cute little box with a screw cap (fancy!) just for you! maybe you like that? anyway. if you do we have the nut juice and will be here all day”
Anyone want to hire me to do their ads?
@futurebird
We would be living in a much better world
@Karen5Lund -
Is it just me or does this ad for pistachio milk feel a little… pushy? over ambitious?
What? I don’t even get a say in this?
Just the whole city… captured by big nut.
(I think this would feel less alarming if they’d left off the word “now” — and it would feel less alarming if I didn’t feel so fragile at the moment about strange incomprehensible forces coming in and taking over out of nowhere)
1. They are probably trying to surf the new mayor's wave??
2. This Portuguese-language video from BBC News says most of the pistachio actually comes from the US. Production is increasing steadily, so they are pushing for increasing adoption so that they can keep selling for a high price.
