If you think of yourself as "bad with names" here is some more advise.
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If you think of yourself as "bad with names" here is some more advice.
You get mulligans!
This seems obvious when I think about it more dispassionately. But, yes, when you have only encountered a person fewer than 4 times, 5 at most you can say "It's Tony, right?"
Now you have shown you do care about the name and made it easy for them to correct you.
The best way to remember names is by using them.
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If you think of yourself as "bad with names" here is some more advice.
You get mulligans!
This seems obvious when I think about it more dispassionately. But, yes, when you have only encountered a person fewer than 4 times, 5 at most you can say "It's Tony, right?"
Now you have shown you do care about the name and made it easy for them to correct you.
The best way to remember names is by using them.
There are many situations where you might be expected to learn more than 3 or 4 names in a short period of time. This is beyond the natural capacity of many people and if you've failed I don't think it means you're anti-social.
Whenever I have to learn more than 8 names I make digital flash cards. Something that seems overly analytical and cold, but really it's called being invested in getting everyone's name right.
New job? Make cards.
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There are many situations where you might be expected to learn more than 3 or 4 names in a short period of time. This is beyond the natural capacity of many people and if you've failed I don't think it means you're anti-social.
Whenever I have to learn more than 8 names I make digital flash cards. Something that seems overly analytical and cold, but really it's called being invested in getting everyone's name right.
New job? Make cards.
@futurebird me too
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If you think of yourself as "bad with names" here is some more advice.
You get mulligans!
This seems obvious when I think about it more dispassionately. But, yes, when you have only encountered a person fewer than 4 times, 5 at most you can say "It's Tony, right?"
Now you have shown you do care about the name and made it easy for them to correct you.
The best way to remember names is by using them.
@futurebird
But when I say that and it's Frank, not Tony their feelings are hurt. : ( -
@futurebird me too
I spent too much of my life thinking that if I didn't "just pick up" names naturally it was my fault and somehow a sign of how bad at being social I was.
Then I got frustrated because one year I had over 140 new names to learn. It was obvious that this isn't something that can "just happen" especially when I've never been good with names.
So I tried just memorizing them them all with flash cards and it was like unlocking a cheat code.
-
If you think of yourself as "bad with names" here is some more advice.
You get mulligans!
This seems obvious when I think about it more dispassionately. But, yes, when you have only encountered a person fewer than 4 times, 5 at most you can say "It's Tony, right?"
Now you have shown you do care about the name and made it easy for them to correct you.
The best way to remember names is by using them.
@futurebird "I'm sorry I deleted your name to make more space for dung beetle species names."
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@futurebird
But when I say that and it's Frank, not Tony their feelings are hurt. : (Only a little. And not nearly as bad as if you call Tony Frank with full confidence.
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@futurebird "I'm sorry I deleted your name to make more space for dung beetle species names."
Why is this turning into a call out post now
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Only a little. And not nearly as bad as if you call Tony Frank with full confidence.
@futurebird
<thinking> I see your point, thanks. : ) -
@futurebird
<thinking> I see your point, thanks. : )It's one of those contradictions of the world that people who may care THE MOST about getting names right can become so worried and careful about names that we cut off all of the ways that you learn them.
You can only really get a name to stick by using it when talking to the person. If I said "It's Tony, right?"
"Frank" Frank says, annoyed.
"Frank! Of course."Then as soon as possible I keep using the name "Frank suggested something." "But what does Frank think?"
etc. -
It's one of those contradictions of the world that people who may care THE MOST about getting names right can become so worried and careful about names that we cut off all of the ways that you learn them.
You can only really get a name to stick by using it when talking to the person. If I said "It's Tony, right?"
"Frank" Frank says, annoyed.
"Frank! Of course."Then as soon as possible I keep using the name "Frank suggested something." "But what does Frank think?"
etc.It feels kind of cheesy. But interacting with people is intrinsically cheesy.
Nonetheless, with some rare exceptions, most people really like when you use their name. If you use the name correctly two or three times the mistake will be totally forgotten.
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There are many situations where you might be expected to learn more than 3 or 4 names in a short period of time. This is beyond the natural capacity of many people and if you've failed I don't think it means you're anti-social.
Whenever I have to learn more than 8 names I make digital flash cards. Something that seems overly analytical and cold, but really it's called being invested in getting everyone's name right.
New job? Make cards.
@futurebird one trick I do NOT recommend anymore is
"Remind me how to pronounce your name?""John"
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