Got the screen replaced on my phone: now it doesn’t recognize me anymore.

This is a true sentence about my life. It also sounds like something from a cyberpunk horror story. In addition? My phone is *haunted*— phantom typing … (Like a damn Ouija board. ) spontaneous sentences, I keep telling myself it is just autocorrect.

I’m still mostly delighted that it could be fixed at all— but, I thought this was the digital age? Why do my problems have an analog texture?