The people of New York have a strange relationship to plants.
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The people of New York have a strange relationship to plants. We are perhaps somewhat alienated from nature, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the cabbages. When I first saw the cabbages I was angry.
They were growing in a tree box on the sidewalk in Midtown a place not a suitable most plants, especially a cabbage, and clearly someone had spent like a Sultan. These were big healthy transplants.
1/ -
The people of New York have a strange relationship to plants. We are perhaps somewhat alienated from nature, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the cabbages. When I first saw the cabbages I was angry.
They were growing in a tree box on the sidewalk in Midtown a place not a suitable most plants, especially a cabbage, and clearly someone had spent like a Sultan. These were big healthy transplants.
1/Oh these were gorgeous purple, cabbages, already big and leafy: if they had been just placed in *my* roof garden, they would’ve formed the most lovely heads nurtured by vermiculture.
But no! these cabbages would languish in midtown Manhattan, get pissed upon by dogs and be inedible. It was infuriating.
2/
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Oh these were gorgeous purple, cabbages, already big and leafy: if they had been just placed in *my* roof garden, they would’ve formed the most lovely heads nurtured by vermiculture.
But no! these cabbages would languish in midtown Manhattan, get pissed upon by dogs and be inedible. It was infuriating.
2/
BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
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BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
More. A cabbage planted and abandoned to dog piss is still adding a lot of the benefits of plant life. Not much was wasted as they practically grow on trees.
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BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
@futurebird
my goodness this is not where i thought this was going. i'd say it makes for two types of anger, equal in their magnitude? although i suppose at least no actual cabbages were harmed. but still. plastic! bah. -
BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
@futurebird a weird al does radiohead world you live in
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BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
How weird.
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BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
It's just... sad. Every square centimeter of photosynthetic green is valuable in a city. Someday they will understand, I hope. But not before the collapse.
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BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
@futurebird
Plastic ANYTHING makes me more angrey.
Desert Storm was all about the CRUD oil.
Trumps bullshit is all about the CRUD oil.
Guess what plastic is made from? Murder for CRUD oil/plastic is still murder -
BUT: that’s when I took a closer look, because the cabbages were even stranger than I had thus far suspected.
can you guess?
that’s right they were FAKE.
plastic cabbages!!
I don’t know if that makes me MORE or less angry. 3/3
@futurebird One thing I remember from my first (and only) visit to Toronto -- in early December, many years ago -- was the decorative cabbages planted in small plots outside people's homes. I had no idea that they were a thing.
Brassicas, eh? Weirder and much more annoying than beans...
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@futurebird One thing I remember from my first (and only) visit to Toronto -- in early December, many years ago -- was the decorative cabbages planted in small plots outside people's homes. I had no idea that they were a thing.
Brassicas, eh? Weirder and much more annoying than beans...
@darkling @futurebird Decorative brassicas are a NY tradition in much of Asia.
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More. A cabbage planted and abandoned to dog piss is still adding a lot of the benefits of plant life. Not much was wasted as they practically grow on trees.
@gbargoud
And also more because that hipster aesthetic of veg in window boxes was about acknowledging the importance of feeding people in cities. So what kind of mindset goes 'let's take that and make it not food'
@futurebird -
@darkling @futurebird Decorative brassicas are a NY tradition in much of Asia.
@Bumblefish @futurebird I just had no idea they were a Thing until that point.
But I guess, brassicas can be all things to all people...
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@darkling @futurebird Decorative brassicas are a NY tradition in much of Asia.
I'm not impressed if you buy them that big at the nursery. Which is what I thought they did. Until I started feeling depressed about the sorry state of my own cabbage efforts... how could they beat me with such healthy broad fractal edged green leaves and so little sunlight... and so many... additives?
Cheating. That is how.
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It's just... sad. Every square centimeter of photosynthetic green is valuable in a city. Someday they will understand, I hope. But not before the collapse.
There are less glamorous things that will grow in such places.
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There are less glamorous things that will grow in such places.
Anything. The hardier the better.
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