Schools dances, office holiday parties can be kind of corny and boring. So many people have input on what can and cannot be done that you might end up with a very limited and boring event.

But, these things are still very important (the office parties less so, I think)-- they have an "educational purpose"

And this is why schools need to come to grips with running social media intranets.

2/

Right now teens go off into the wild to find a place on social media and adults are rightly alarmed. Companies like Facebook, Instagram, X etc. have no interest in "modeling a healthy online environment" or "teaching young people to use social media constructively" -- instead everyone is acting like simply banning kids from using phones and scanning IDs will make social media go away.

No one is asking or answering the question: How and when will young people learn to use social media?

3/

I think that schools should take on this role.

You could have a server for a school with mastodon, but not connected to the rest of the fedi, you could network with similar schools. Just like at the school dance the teachers are around so there are limits to how it's used.

Teens could post about their soccer games, advertise their clubs, make jokes, practice using the medium wisely.

When teens post to social media they care about their friends at school seeing the post most. 4/

I've had people hear this idea scoff saying "teens will never use it" I don't think this is true. They ALL come to the dances, even though they are "so boring" -- and I think at some level they would feel better having a safer place to express themselves in photos, videos and writing for each other without every creep on the internet looking in on it.

Will some teens still find internet "after parties" Yes.

But right now we are basically saying you can go to the afterparty or NOTHING.

5/5

What is more true is the adults don't want to bother to set it up.

Just like no one really wants to chaperone the dance.

But we have figured out that NOT having the dance is worse.

It will leave some kids locked out socially, others will create events that are too adult or unsafe.

We need to show them how it could work. Part of the obstacle to doing this is how few *adults* know how to use social media in a constructive way. So maybe we all need lessons.

@futurebird I actually tried this at the end of last year. Our student journalists, who have a (school hosted) blog, wanted an IG handle, which was a hard no. But I offered to setup a PixelFed instance, and figure out how to link that to AD, so every kid in the school would get a handle.
They weren't interested. They wanted to be where everyone else is (IG) above all. I asked them who was going to start the "new thing" if not them, but they didn't want to put in the effort.

@futurebird To be fair, this was a less than averagely motivated cohort, which biased it. I will try again at some point.
During covid, we set up (in house) Woocommerce sites so the matrics could do their fundraising bake sales, etc. Worked really well - but they had the motivation.

@grant_h

When it's just one teacher saying "set up this thing" it just sounds like more work.

You need to get the admins on board.

Make it the place where the scores from the sports teams are announced, where the vote totals from the elections are posted, that is make it part of the school and they'll care about it.

My students love the idea, it's the admins and other teachers who I can't get excited.

@grant_h

That said? I feel like this is coming. It may take like a decade but schools will figure it out.

The most ugly school social media problems happen when students have an "unofficial official" network and no one knows about it but some mean girls/guys.

@futurebird I think there's a lot of truth in this statement. I keep thinking I know how to use social media, I also keep getting blocked by nice people. ‍️

@Wyatt_H_Knott

Don't take blocking personally unless you were having a real conversation with the person and they felt the need to tell you why.

I think some people block me because I "post too much" -- and you know? That is fine. Because I do.

@futurebird Also, you do post a lot. Because you think a lot. You're not reposting memes, or even doing the same thing over and over. You're thinking about stuff and sharing those (often very intelligent and unique) thoughts with us, which I find to be a great priviledge, and I would be SORELY disappointed in myself if I ever said anything that made you block me.

As a teacher who is always looking out for kids who struggle with "socializing" the part about being shut out really bothers me.

When I was in HS internet was a secret world for a few dozen nerdy kids who knew about it. Now it's more like the socially savvy kids figure it out, and even manage to use it rather responsibly, but the kids who are more like I was... they have no idea what's going on or where to start and they are just left out.

That sucks.

@futurebird

In my 20's I worked as Youth Worker, Social Worker and managed several children's centres.

The social education of young people was at the core of everything we did. It worked, so much that I did on occasion run into some of those young people as adults and not only did they remember me... but did so fondly, recounting some of the great memories they had where I worked.

I had a rule where, I wouldn't let kids win a basic games just for the sake of them winning. I challenged them to do better, to think ahead, plan ahead... I wasn't mean or condescending and I would often give ample opportunity for them to see the errors they were about to make... I never gloated, I always congratulated them on a good game.

One of the best memories I have is playing a simple game of Connect 4 with one of the kids... He'd been coming to the after school and holiday clubs for several years. He loved connect 4... but could never beat me... Until he did... at the age of about 10yrs old and after several years of trying.

The look of sheer joy on his face is one I will never forget... talk about a core memory... for both of us. He was celebrating his victory, not in a mocking or condescending way... just pure joy at his achievement beating a far better player.

He was telling everyone, he was the first kid to beat me. When his mum arrived to pick him up it was the first thing he ran up to tell her... and he was giddy with joy.

I ran into him about 15yrs later by chance... When we realised who he was... guess what his first memory of our interactions was... He still beamed with joy recall his win.

I'm a great believer in social education, and I miss those roles I had, helping to shape young minds... But the money was garbage and I didn't want to live in poverty forever... so as I approached 30, I went and got a better paid boring office job for the next 25yrs.

I mean the "secret club for nerds" was not great either but at least it wasn't concentrating social power in the hands of the already socially skilled and powerful.

But, that's what's going on now. Your shy socially awkward kid may at best find some kindred souls online, but at worst?

A chatbot may fill their head with nonsense or they will get preyed on by internet creeps.

And the later was already happening when I was young.

A school should at least set one good example.

@futurebird
For me, the Internet went from the only place I was comfortable in high school to just another social nightmare in the last 10 years. I have wondered what it's like for kids today.

It doesn't seem like there's any niche place to express themselves without the threat of bullying at all.

@thecrushedviolet

They have carved out little spaces on tumblr and instagram.

But they also use discord and things like that a lot.

Discord kind of scares me because who knows what's going on in there? I hope that the older students take to heart our lessons about setting boundaries and asking for help.

But this isn't a new problem, it's always been part of growing up.

Darkly? I think the big social media companies do not really want young people to be "empowered digital citizens" or "people who can set boundaries, and make wise choices about the online spaces they participate in"

They want them to be like many adults, kind of helpless and unable to look away from a kind of social media that makes their mental health worse while wasting their time and selling them garbage.

@futurebird There's something in all this that's triggering to me at a pretty deep level and I'm not 100% sure what it is. I think it has something to do with control.

As someone who was manipulated from a young age and who was bullied by kids and adults alike, the Internet for me was a necessary escape. I needed not only to communicate through text but with people outside my community. I didn't really know it at the time but I also needed a place where things wouldn't get back to my parents.

Now I don't know all the social dynamics of how school kids are using social media and I'll readily admit it probably isn't healthy. If kids are getting treated okay in the halls where teachers are watching and then cyberbullied by their peers over lunch, that's bad. And the popularity contest that is IG pretty .

But I'm not sure if social media being a direct extension of school is great, either. For the kids for whom what they say and do making it back to their community is a useful motivatior for good behavior, it may help. But for the kid who everyone has silently agreed it's okay to bully, it just extends that hell to their phone.