I used to be scared of American Cockroaches.
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I don't think anyone should enjoy seeing them (especially when you didn't expect to see them) They are a symptom of poorly managed spaces, bad plumbing, unclean food storage, problems.
What I'm talking about is being *scared* by these little bugs who can't really hurt you directly at all. They can't sting, can't bite in a way that matters to you, and their biggest threat is making things dirty which is bad... but not worthy of having heart palpations and running out of the room.
@futurebird our eight year old has zero fear of them. Since we’re not in a city, minimal association with “unclean”. She’ll look for them in leaf litter and pick them up to friends.
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I have a phobia of German Cockroaches (I've always lived in the USA) and I know it's a subconscious thing caused by the level of poverty I grew up in.
Everyone in my neighborhood had roaches and we were all poor and gross. Not gross on purpose obviously but the adults were all depressed trying their best to raise kids on way too little money plus never having the time or energy to clean. You inevitably lose to the ever encroach wave of clutter, litter, and roaches.
Poverty doesn't build character. But I remember those days and I would be lying if it wasn't a motivation for me as much in my career as it is my politics.
I no longer have roaches. My parents neither. We're all in a better place. However, No one should be so overwhelmed that they have roaches.
I think it's fine to be overwhelmed that you have to see them. I'm just talking about it being a paralyzing physical fear thing.
I've had students who would *cry* because there was a bee in the classroom.
In temperate zones I think roaches can be managed but many products sold to people do not help and not understanding how they live makes people focus on the wrong things.
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@futurebird our eight year old has zero fear of them. Since we’re not in a city, minimal association with “unclean”. She’ll look for them in leaf litter and pick them up to friends.
I'd be on that kid to wash their hands, but then I'm on kids to wash their hands all of the time so IDK if she'd pick up on why. LOL.
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I'd be on that kid to wash their hands, but then I'm on kids to wash their hands all of the time so IDK if she'd pick up on why. LOL.
@futurebird yes, but just cause she’s digging in the leaf litter, not because of the bug
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@futurebird yes, but just cause she’s digging in the leaf litter, not because of the bug
If she's digging in leaf litter THAT much have you checked if she's maybe an isopod?
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So if you are scared of insects it's IN PART something you are choosing to continue to do.
The next time you see the bug that freaks you out it's an opportunity to gain back some of your dignity and become better able to meet the natural world.
Take it!
I think our fears can sometimes be sources of comfort in a strange way. And one can be scared of NOT being afraid if that makes any sense.
"If I'm not terrified of them will I end up just covered in them all the time, living in a house that's like a subway stop at 3am in the middle of summer?"
The opposite is true. If you want to have control over the ecosystems you live in (and yes human built spaces are ecosystems) you need to understand them, and fear just makes you less able to do this!
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So if you are scared of insects it's IN PART something you are choosing to continue to do.
The next time you see the bug that freaks you out it's an opportunity to gain back some of your dignity and become better able to meet the natural world.
Take it!
@futurebird I was swarmed by yellow jackets when I was young and was left paralyzed whenever a bee showed up. It took decades to get over it. It was mostly getting my limbic system to learn that buzzing was not by itself a mortal threat. That buzzing is a horsefly. That buzzing is A HUGE MUTANT BEE - oh, no, it's a hummingbird. That buzzing IS a yellow jacket, but it wants my sweet beverage, not me. The poor ordinary honey bee never deserved my terror. Anyway, I'm glad to be free of it.
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I think our fears can sometimes be sources of comfort in a strange way. And one can be scared of NOT being afraid if that makes any sense.
"If I'm not terrified of them will I end up just covered in them all the time, living in a house that's like a subway stop at 3am in the middle of summer?"
The opposite is true. If you want to have control over the ecosystems you live in (and yes human built spaces are ecosystems) you need to understand them, and fear just makes you less able to do this!
@futurebird Agree with (and honestly love) all of this, but a cockroach flew at me once when I was a kid and I didn't know they could do that and I've been traumatized ever since!
While I'm not "scared" of them anymore, I definitely do not like seeing them (in the north nor the south), but I'm going to take this to heart.
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@futurebird Agree with (and honestly love) all of this, but a cockroach flew at me once when I was a kid and I didn't know they could do that and I've been traumatized ever since!
While I'm not "scared" of them anymore, I definitely do not like seeing them (in the north nor the south), but I'm going to take this to heart.
Yeah that flying thing happened to me when I first moved to NYC and it took me six years to get over it. But I did! It just took so long I didn't think it'd happen.
But I never gave up on not being irrational about them. Even as I kept being irrational.
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@futurebird I feel this way about people's reactions to spiders.
@Gustodon @futurebird in my defense, some spiders make this part:
> Learning more about what you fear, looking at it more closely,
...really, really hard.
'cause like... there is a type of spider that:
1) moves *very* fast,
2) moves *toward me*, and then
3) *disappears* if i look away for literally 2 seconds.How am i supposed to look closely at something that pulls a frickin' harry houdini act?
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@Gustodon @futurebird in my defense, some spiders make this part:
> Learning more about what you fear, looking at it more closely,
...really, really hard.
'cause like... there is a type of spider that:
1) moves *very* fast,
2) moves *toward me*, and then
3) *disappears* if i look away for literally 2 seconds.How am i supposed to look closely at something that pulls a frickin' harry houdini act?
@Gustodon @futurebird but... i will try.
Next time i see an unreasonably fast spider, i will try to get close enough to take a photo and look it up.(i guess it would probably also help to learn about spiders that are actually dangerous so i can say, "that's not on the list of things for which i would need medical attention.")
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@Gustodon @futurebird but... i will try.
Next time i see an unreasonably fast spider, i will try to get close enough to take a photo and look it up.(i guess it would probably also help to learn about spiders that are actually dangerous so i can say, "that's not on the list of things for which i would need medical attention.")
Where do you live?
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@Gustodon @futurebird but... i will try.
Next time i see an unreasonably fast spider, i will try to get close enough to take a photo and look it up.(i guess it would probably also help to learn about spiders that are actually dangerous so i can say, "that's not on the list of things for which i would need medical attention.")
Asking because in some locations the few "medically significant" spiders are not aggressive at all and you'd need to pin the spider down to get it to bite you.
Generally since spiders are small and scared of people it's hard to get bit by them. But always check your boots. If that makes sense.
