Take a look at "Life, take two!" At first I thought she was exaggerating.
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Life happens. You might have the perfect partner and then suddenly they are gone.
Happened to my grandmother. Three kids, has just quit her job and sold the house in Seattle to buy a farm, she was no farmer grandpa was. Then bammo he nearly dies from an infection and she had to scramble to unsell the house reclaim her job and support the family for a couple of years while he recovers. He later died at 65 she lived to 101, her own pension kept her comfortable until death.
@MCDuncanLab @futurebird
Or on the other hand you might have been raised believing in "traditional family values", and think you married a wonderful husband young, until a decade or two later he throws you out for a younger woman, leaving you without support and job experience.Either way, having your own job outside homemaking and your own bank account sure looks like a good idea.
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Take a look at "Life, take two!" At first I thought she was exaggerating. She talks about how her pastor discouraged her from going to college (!) from doing anything that might lead to financial independence.
She listened to that bad advice, found herself trapped. Then she got out. She has little positive to say about marriage.
The idea of discouraging someone from going to college was so alien at first I didn't believe her. But I think this is really happening.
@futurebird I’ll recommend the books “A Well Trained Wife” by Tia Levings for more insight on this, and “Uncultured” by Daniella Mestyanek Young for more on these topics.
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Take a look at "Life, take two!" At first I thought she was exaggerating. She talks about how her pastor discouraged her from going to college (!) from doing anything that might lead to financial independence.
She listened to that bad advice, found herself trapped. Then she got out. She has little positive to say about marriage.
The idea of discouraging someone from going to college was so alien at first I didn't believe her. But I think this is really happening.
@futurebird
On that note: -
Americans will look at this and call it "primitive" and they are doing the same things.
@futurebird @artemis That's why I am so grateful to have lived in a truly multicultural society, where cultural traditions are still largely observed in the different cultures.
Explicit cultural traditions are so much easier to examine, update, appreciate, follow or refute than hidden assumptions and expectations.
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Take a look at "Life, take two!" At first I thought she was exaggerating. She talks about how her pastor discouraged her from going to college (!) from doing anything that might lead to financial independence.
She listened to that bad advice, found herself trapped. Then she got out. She has little positive to say about marriage.
The idea of discouraging someone from going to college was so alien at first I didn't believe her. But I think this is really happening.
@futurebird I could MAYBE see an argument to be made if it was a financial question - is it worth going 6 figures into debt to get a piece of paper you never use? But that's going to be very person specific based upon what their dreams and aspirations are. And it'd still be best to keep some sort of plan B around, be it a trade or a 2 year degree or something.
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@MCDuncanLab @futurebird
Or on the other hand you might have been raised believing in "traditional family values", and think you married a wonderful husband young, until a decade or two later he throws you out for a younger woman, leaving you without support and job experience.Either way, having your own job outside homemaking and your own bank account sure looks like a good idea.
Yeah that’s my other grandmother. But no on goes into marriage thinking they will be betrayed.
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@futurebird I could MAYBE see an argument to be made if it was a financial question - is it worth going 6 figures into debt to get a piece of paper you never use? But that's going to be very person specific based upon what their dreams and aspirations are. And it'd still be best to keep some sort of plan B around, be it a trade or a 2 year degree or something.
The question about if taking on a loan is a good idea to pay for college should be separate from the question of if it's a good idea to go or not at all.
I think it's better to be debt free and have a less prestigious institution than big debt and a fancy name... but much of this depends on if you are "good at school" and other questions.
And really college should be free. If we had any sense.
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The question about if taking on a loan is a good idea to pay for college should be separate from the question of if it's a good idea to go or not at all.
I think it's better to be debt free and have a less prestigious institution than big debt and a fancy name... but much of this depends on if you are "good at school" and other questions.
And really college should be free. If we had any sense.
@futurebird 100%
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Take a look at "Life, take two!" At first I thought she was exaggerating. She talks about how her pastor discouraged her from going to college (!) from doing anything that might lead to financial independence.
She listened to that bad advice, found herself trapped. Then she got out. She has little positive to say about marriage.
The idea of discouraging someone from going to college was so alien at first I didn't believe her. But I think this is really happening.
@futurebird it's rare to hear anyone in the states bring this up, but it's very unusual to be able to migrate freely to another country unless you have a 4 year university degree, which is probably one of the best reasons to try and obtain one
the fact that most countries settled upon this insane restriction is its own can of worms spanning all the way back to nativism but the fact remains, so i suspect anyone who discourages university for any group of people
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@futurebird @artemis That is a fantastic template!
I know my mom and dad love each other because that woman would be gone in a heartbeat if she didn't. Gone to the other side of the earth never to be seen again.
Heck she might leave if she got sick of me. It's sad she didn't grow up in the era of memes. "hit da bricks" is in that woman's soul.
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I have seen a statistic that on average millennial dads spend almost as much time with their children as boomer moms.
The majority are shifting the roles to more equal ones whether MAGA like it or not. Which is probably what they're so upset about.
And here is the article: https://news.uci.edu/2016/09/28/todays-parents-spend-more-time-with-their-kids-than-moms-and-dads-did-50-years-ago/
> In 1965, mothers spent a daily average of 54 minutes on child care activities, while moms in 2012 averaged almost twice that at 104 minutes per day. Fathers’ time with children nearly quadrupled – 1965 dads spent a daily average of just 16 minutes with their kids, while today’s fathers spend about 59 minutes a day caring for them.
There are a couple of interesting things here, also ties in to "why aren't people having more kids?"
