Con keeps you from catching mummy rot through their expired wraps

No it helps with endurance. Mummies come pre-wrapped, but the undead do not need to rest.

Nah, it's the intent of the words not the words themselves. If you have an understanding of the words then you naturally supply the intended intent.

Strength stacker artificer with replica alberons.

if i read the words "eat shit" i dont necessarily have the intent to eat shit

Not YOUR intent. The word's intent. The meaning the words impart. If you read 'eat shit' you know it means to eat shit, not that it makes you want to eat shit.

seems dumb. makes more sense that reading the scroll aloud would do it. knowing the lexigraphs and being able to put syllables to them, not translating it into whatever language

Mmm, salsa.

I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here. Do not read the Latin.

You can always just have a penalty to will saves.