When I was in middle schools this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird LOL what
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird lol I did that myself
my boyfriend really did live a couple of hours away and he really did work ungodly hours
and sometimes he couldn't make it over for stuff, and vice versa
and we really did get married!
and all those other things are still true but he's like 4 years from retirement and vested in a good pension plan so we're just gonna keep commuting for now

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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird I play hockey with Kyle all the time.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
β¦and now Cricket gets to move to Canada, so has the last laugh. -
Kyle was like bigfoot. Whenever we were supposed to get to meet him something would happen.
I really doubted he existed at all.
But I know someone who went to the wedding and laid a hand on Kyle. He's real.
@futurebird
Was there peyote at the event? -
@futurebird Kyle is real; Canada is fake
"The impossibility of Kyle (and Canada) in the mind of an American in 2026"
It's just a huge taxidermy hockey guy in a big metal and glass tank.
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F myrmepropagandist shared this topic
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@futurebird As a Brit, the thing Iβm most sceptical about is that someone might be called βCricketβ.

@TheVoidTLMB @futurebird It's uncommon, but not unheard of as a name in the US. Crickets are viewed as cheerful creatures and sometimes considered good luck.
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@futurebird
Was there peyote at the event?... cannot 100 percent rule that one out
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
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@futurebird this smacks of Kyle-collusion. Kylusion.

did you just
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird ngl if you were telling me this story I would have stopped you at βCricketβ and asked more about the girl
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird Once upon a time, I was someoneβs Canadian girlfriend
Also often thought to be imaginary
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird Omg that is hilarious. Poor Cricket

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@futurebird I play hockey with Kyle all the time.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
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Kyle was like bigfoot. Whenever we were supposed to get to meet him something would happen.
I really doubted he existed at all.
But I know someone who went to the wedding and laid a hand on Kyle. He's real.
@futurebird We can't rule out conceptual embodiment. Has Cricket recently participated in any expeditions to The Void?
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@futurebird I play hockey with Kyle all the time.
@johnefrancis @futurebird Wait that Kyle in Canada who was always talking about his mystery girlfriend??
I didn't think she was real.
Kyle makes a mean poutine, great after hockey practice.
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When I was in middle school this girl, Cricket was always talking about her "boyfriend from Canada"
"He's named Kyle and plays hockey. We met on the postcard exchange. He sent me this valentines day card."
We made fun of her. Kyle was obviously fake.
Well. She just married Kyle.
KYLE WAS REAL ALL ALONG.
@futurebird
Love it!
I married my American girlfriend that my friends in rural England were positive was a predatory scam. We celebrated our 25 wedding anniversary last year. -
@PizzaDemon @futurebird No, 70% are named Dave so the numbers wouldn't add up if 40% were Kyle.
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@futurebird Once upon a time, I was someoneβs Canadian girlfriend
Also often thought to be imaginary
@bougiewonderland @futurebird Me, too! I was (more than once) someone's Canadian girlfriend and often assumed to be imaginary.
Canadian Girlfriends Unite!
