"When you get to the fork in the road, take it."

Roll for initiative


Oh no! It is a mimic! Roll for initiative.

“Why?” “Because it’s a mimic.”

“You now have a fork in the road. Add it to your inventory.” “Do you mean a fork?” “No.”

Cursed to play as Abdullah the Butcher.

I don't wanna fork on the road. I wanna fork in the bed.

DM: "Why are you skanking...?"

> Congratulations! You're now the proud owner of the Cursed Fork of Missile Attraction! > Every ranged attack targeting you has advantage which cannot be negated by anything until you break the curse at the next _**"Y-INTERSECTION"**_ several days out of your way

Role a strength check 16. Unfortunately you are not strong enough to lift the fork in the road. What! Oh my god Magic Fork! What? No it's just a normal fork in the road. I must have been hit by some kind of weakness magic. No, you've been hit by stupid. De-intelligence magic? But why would that effect my strength? Unless I'm so dumb I think I'm stronger than I am, an I actually a fairy? We have to find a wizard to turn me back. Yeah let's throw away my novel I wrote for this and go off on some random Bs side quest.

"The fork rejects your advances."

"As you bend over to pick up the fork, you slip a vertebral disc. Your health is reduced to 30%, and will stay capped there for the following three days." DnD in your 30s.

I shoot the gazebo with my bow.

oh no! it's the cursed fork of splitting!

I cast magic missile at the darkness!

why not let them pick it up and it turns out to be a portable fork in the road and they can put it down again to make a quick getaway later

Reminds me of "dungeon crawler carl."

Uncle Sheo is spreading the fork of horrirpillation around the kingdoms again...