Cursed to play as Abdullah the Butcher.

I don't wanna fork on the road. I wanna fork in the bed.

DM: "Why are you skanking...?"

> Congratulations! You're now the proud owner of the Cursed Fork of Missile Attraction! > Every ranged attack targeting you has advantage which cannot be negated by anything until you break the curse at the next _**"Y-INTERSECTION"**_ several days out of your way

Role a strength check 16. Unfortunately you are not strong enough to lift the fork in the road. What! Oh my god Magic Fork! What? No it's just a normal fork in the road. I must have been hit by some kind of weakness magic. No, you've been hit by stupid. De-intelligence magic? But why would that effect my strength? Unless I'm so dumb I think I'm stronger than I am, an I actually a fairy? We have to find a wizard to turn me back. Yeah let's throw away my novel I wrote for this and go off on some random Bs side quest.

"The fork rejects your advances."

"As you bend over to pick up the fork, you slip a vertebral disc. Your health is reduced to 30%, and will stay capped there for the following three days." DnD in your 30s.

I shoot the gazebo with my bow.

oh no! it's the cursed fork of splitting!

I cast magic missile at the darkness!

why not let them pick it up and it turns out to be a portable fork in the road and they can put it down again to make a quick getaway later

Reminds me of "dungeon crawler carl."

Uncle Sheo is spreading the fork of horrirpillation around the kingdoms again...

You better not fork in the road, you son of a beach!

Watch what happens when the party encounters a gazebo.

Lol, that reminds me of my first DM session ~~she was locked in a cage~~.... Anyways my actual first DM session, every one loved the memes like the classic hitting a gazebo with a sword one meme they liked was the forever DM so everyone was joking saying not me you have to come back from vacation just to DM etc, I on the other hand jumped at the opportunity to ~~wheeled unbridled power~~ be DM, I had no idea what I was doing so when I was designing the enemies and I was a bit annoyed that our regular DM's encounters were so easy so I thought I needed to get a gage on how much they can take before they died so I invented a boss what it was was a that when you hit it with a sword it would psychically protect itself I knew my meme loving audience couldn't help but hit it since that was the meme of the week they had no idea it was the gazebo so the gazebo kept spawning more and more enemies I waited until they were almost dead so I could see how much they could take my initial plan was to wait until they were entirely dead but they started getting angry that my first session was going to be a tpk so I gave them a hint to kill the gazebo, They didn't understand what I was do so I got some very strong pointers about the encounter being to hard, the rest of the night was a bit bitter.