I had a job when I was in HS working in an office of a importer and exporter of cigars and the guy who ran the company thought I was a computer genius with rare super powers because I knew how to set up a mail merge in word and excel to make his invoic...
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Career advice: learn to do a mail merge and find someone who will be dependent on you for life.
The end.
@futurebird bicycle for the mind, but it's one of those weird bicycles that someone drew from memory
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Career advice: learn to do a mail merge and find someone who will be dependent on you for life.
The end.
@futurebird I was in school for a bit in a Programmer/Analyst associates program and I was very cranky about being forced to take a "word processing class" that included doing mail merge.
Guess I was wrong.
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Anyway today I did a mail merge (in google docs) and someone was very impressed. More impressed than by the Apache server that I set up... that just makes my soul cry.
It's not any easier. In some ways it's worse now.
Computers, I tell ya.
@futurebird also if you learn how to use like five Excel commands like VLOOKUP (now XLOOKUP) and CONCATENATE, you can be considered a wizard by your peers. Even if they're in IT.
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I had a job when I was in HS working in an office of a importer and exporter of cigars and the guy who ran the company thought I was a computer genius with rare super powers because I knew how to set up a mail merge in word and excel to make his invoices and letters for his customers.
It was a little tricky back then. But really just read the directions and follow them. I thought "some day computers will be so easy to use everyone will be able to do this"
Yeah. That didn't happen.
@futurebird “But wait — AI can…”
I’ll show myself out. 🤪
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I had a job when I was in HS working in an office of a importer and exporter of cigars and the guy who ran the company thought I was a computer genius with rare super powers because I knew how to set up a mail merge in word and excel to make his invoices and letters for his customers.
It was a little tricky back then. But really just read the directions and follow them. I thought "some day computers will be so easy to use everyone will be able to do this"
Yeah. That didn't happen.
@futurebird Back when I had a day job I was the office Excel/Word/Access guru. Which just meant that I was someone who actually used the Help or searched online for how to do something and figured it out. Just being willing to spend a bit of time to figure out something you don't currently know how to do is definitely a superpower in the eyes of some people.
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Career advice: learn to do a mail merge and find someone who will be dependent on you for life.
The end.
@futurebird I setup the mail merge for my mom's small business on an Apple][ clone when I was an early teen.
2nd year college, I'm telling her I'm taking "Database Fundamentals" class and she asks why I have to take that. Asserts I already know the fundamentals.
I respond, "This is like, fundamentals of the American Airlines reservation database". -
Career advice: learn to do a mail merge and find someone who will be dependent on you for life.
The end.
@futurebird Last year, I took a failing CRM project and turned it around almost single-handedly.
I also registered a domain and added two Exchange accounts to it.
Guess for which one I got praise.

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@futurebird “But wait — AI can…”
I’ll show myself out. 🤪
Oh they tried that. It was a disaster. Good lort.
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I had a job when I was in HS working in an office of a importer and exporter of cigars and the guy who ran the company thought I was a computer genius with rare super powers because I knew how to set up a mail merge in word and excel to make his invoices and letters for his customers.
It was a little tricky back then. But really just read the directions and follow them. I thought "some day computers will be so easy to use everyone will be able to do this"
Yeah. That didn't happen.
@futurebird cool! I also worked for a cigar importer/exporter in NYC on Madison Ave. it was the early 80s and the telex was their high tech
only two of us could use it. -
Oh they tried that. It was a disaster. Good lort.
@futurebird I’m shocked — SHOCKED, I say.

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@futurebird cool! I also worked for a cigar importer/exporter in NYC on Madison Ave. it was the early 80s and the telex was their high tech
only two of us could use it.This was in Ohio, maybe we ordered from ya'll LOL.
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Oh they tried that. It was a disaster. Good lort.
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I had a job when I was in HS working in an office of a importer and exporter of cigars and the guy who ran the company thought I was a computer genius with rare super powers because I knew how to set up a mail merge in word and excel to make his invoices and letters for his customers.
It was a little tricky back then. But really just read the directions and follow them. I thought "some day computers will be so easy to use everyone will be able to do this"
Yeah. That didn't happen.
@futurebird Heat death of the universe will happen before mail merge and envelope printing are solved problems
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Career advice: learn to do a mail merge and find someone who will be dependent on you for life.
The end.
It's 2026. No one can figure out how to do a mail merge.
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It's 2026. No one can figure out how to do a mail merge.
@futurebird never have, never will, apparently
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It's 2026. No one can figure out how to do a mail merge.
@futurebird I blame the ridiculous learning curve and hollowing out of features imposed on us by Microsoft. What say you?
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This was in Ohio, maybe we ordered from ya'll LOL.
@futurebird the scent of high quality tobacco is so good - I learned a lot from the owners.
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Anyway today I did a mail merge (in google docs) and someone was very impressed. More impressed than by the Apache server that I set up... that just makes my soul cry.
It's not any easier. In some ways it's worse now.
Computers, I tell ya.
It was a fun job. Although my boss was always smoking and had a lot of shady "friends."
He was always yelling "Where is that computer girl?"
Because I'd get whatever he wanted done and go back in the stock room and read for hours.
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It's 2026. No one can figure out how to do a mail merge.
@futurebird what's a mail merge?
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@futurebird what's a mail merge?
Let's say you have a spreadsheet with names and addresses and billing amounts for a bunch of people and you want personalized letters for each one with their names and the price printed nice and pretty mixed in with other text.