Sweaty Sword: Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It's always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn. Survival Stew Balls A fried ball of...food. It's rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours, *especially* if it's made of iron. Emergency Shews Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. Dead Cat Bounce A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.

I have two I will be using in my next campaign: **Ring of attunement**: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (*Requires attunement*) **Event Staff**: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any "employees only" areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.

Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he'll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot's Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one's muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot's Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend _all_ unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing.

Jesus...

Riffing off the ring: The Hand of Holding. When held, it can hold items for you and allow to use them with whatever ability you would normally have. Technically helpful in slightly extending your reach, and depending on the niceness of the GM may also mitigate curses or other effects that are triggered by holding the item, since you technically aren't. You are still essentially wielding, using, and various other verbs-ing the item, so those still hamper you.

Bag for holding: It's a bag of holding but instead of occupying a bag slot it must be kept in the main hand.

> Survival Stew Balls: > > A fried ball of…food. It’s rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it’s made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs. that's some stuff you find in the lunch room of an SCP facility

Owo what a tewwible cuwse to put on youwselwf..

I hope while they were walking around, a projectile would just donk right into their shield on occasion, just to keep them on their toes.

Cape of (Refugee) Flight: you gain the power to fly for your life. Screaming Cloak of Invisibility: you're invisible, but the cloak constantly screams, "HE'S OVER HERE!!!" and tries to give away your location. The Tax Axe: raises both your taxes and your target's with every swing.

How do I delete someone else's comment?

Bag of folding. A bag of holding except anything stored in it comes out folded in half.

I might actually steal that cloak for my D&D campaign lol