I cast... # TESTICULAR TORSION!

ahh the famous tumblr (probably) post of a barbarian with a pan who yells "i cast iron!" every time they attack

story is *The Alchemist* [full text at hplovecraft.com](https://hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/a.aspx)

Best part, one of the family members was killed with a big rock. Just literally dropped a rock on the guy.

Also a great song by blue öyster cult about the same story, "the alchemist"

Knowing Tumblr, they would also be pan-sexual, as in only attracted to their special clobberin' pan

So according to weekeepeedeea lovecraft was 17 or 18 when he wrote this which completely checks out.

Chuck Wizard casts Rock Throw. **_It’s super effective!_**

"I threw a rock at him! It was a big rock."

[Biggest rock is best rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_APoSfCYwU).

Give em the ol dick twist!

The sorcerer is named Charles le Sorcier (Charles the Sorcerer) and it is his father who has been killed, named Michel Mauvais, Michel Bad.

Almost got 'im.