I’m knitting myself a cardigan, I’m currently working on the back panel. I spent some time on the front porch working on it since it’s been so nice out. I have been putting this one off because I get filled with anxiety doubting if I’ll like how it looks on me or will it be too small in the end. I tend to avoid knitting garments altogether, and sometimes get sweater envy. As a fat person, I find it hard to appreciate my body and get over my own internalized fat phobia. I often times think everything looks bad on me no matter what as long as my body is like this. I assume too often magically being thinner will fix everything. It stops me from trying new clothes but also new experiences since all I can think about is how people perceive me. It’s something I’m trying to overcome, and I hope that knitting a gorgeous cardigan for myself will be a good step in that process. I want to show myself that this is for me and that I do deserve these things as well.

#knitting #knit