Last Thursday, 2 characters hiding: nat 1, nat 1

The characters: 


"Achoo!" "Gesundheit."

Now I can't see what the upside down bit says

What upside down bit?

I gotchu 

When you're +12 to stealth a 1 isn't that critical

Rolling a 1 on a skill check is an automatic failure...

Yeah, Nat 1 is miraculous failure, Nat 20 is miraculous success in all games I've played

My boys are otherwise engaged…

Best DMs did "whimsical" failures and successes.

That's a better way to put it. It's fun to have critical failures as much as critical successes. Especially when it's something that the character making the check on should easily handle. "While normally, this lock would pose no challenge for you, in your confidence you did not notice the pebble on the floor, trip, and break your lock picking tools when you fall on top of them."

Yessss!!! In your haste to investigate the desk you fling open the desk's drawer to find it empty except a small stain of blood. Upon further inspection you notice a dagger shaped letter opener protruding from your thigh. The blood stain is related. You take one piercing damage.

Free Parking with extra money is an abomination

"Expensive Parking" Instead of just being a boring space that does nothing, and contrast to it being like winning a lotto, now landing on the space requires payment to the bank of $250.

Yeah and free parking jackpot breaks monopoly by making the game run for hours Failed skill checks on 1 break d&d by making skilled people fail regularly just as less skilled people do. I also play in the Palladium system where skill checks are on percentile dice and also don't fail on a minimum roll

If you can't fail a skill check, there should be no roll. Same as most DMs won't make you do a skill check for "I sit down on a chair". Rolling dice implies that there's a chance of failure. > Failed skill checks on 1 break d&d by making skilled people fail regularly just as less skilled people do. Nope. 1/20 is much less regular than 5/20 or even 19/20. More skill doesn't mean it always works, only that your chances are higher. And if you are skilled enough that it always works, then there should be no roll.

If the action is something that can never fail, there shouldn't be a skill check. You don't roll dice on sitting down at a table, so if you are a perfect lock picker who always succeeds at picking locks, no dice should be thrown. The Lockpicking Lawyer doesn't play with dice either.

The problem with this argument is that first off, the GM can't know your character sheet front-to-back because they're not playing your character, so they probably don't know if even a 1 will pass the DC they've set. > 1/20 is much less regular than 5/20 or even 19/20 *It's still far more common than is reasonable.*