There is something deeply wrong with this country and I think I've found the source.
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@futurebird Look, if I had a 1200lb wheel of cheese, Iād build a room and make people look at it, too.
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@futurebird He was a MONSTER!
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There is something deeply wrong with this country and I think I've found the source. A totem, a moment, and artifact that has poisoned the American psyche since our nation's inception.
I speak of course of "The Mammoth Cheese of Thomas Jefferson."
Basically this "founding father" had a big mansion called Monticello and in it, for a time, he had a big wheel of cheese someone gave to him. It was 1200 lbs. He had a room for it. Made people go look at it.
You had to "view the great cheese"
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On the surface? It sounds charming, right? Harmless. But think again.
No one said "this is too much cheese, this is unseemly, cut it out" they just... went along with it.
Munched on it for months!
No one could question it.
And this is the root of the evil in the soul of this country. We are haunted by the specter of men who'd call their mansion something absurd and needlessly fancy like "Monticello" but then have a big cheese and think it's fine.
And that is my history for the day.
I love this! How have I never heard about this cheese?
"Jefferson's policy to refuse gifts while in office led him on January 4, 1802, to pay Leland $200 for the cheese"
" reported to still be there as late as March of 1804 (at which point it was described as "very far from being good").[9] Apocryphal accounts assert that the last of it was served at a presidential reception in 1805, or that it was dumped in the Potomac at some date unknown"
Mammoth Cheese
In 1801, a Baptist congregation in Cheshire, MA, gifted a"mammoth cheese" to President Thomas Jefferson in honor of his support of religious liberty.
Thomas Jefferson's Monticello (www.monticello.org)
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I love this! How have I never heard about this cheese?
"Jefferson's policy to refuse gifts while in office led him on January 4, 1802, to pay Leland $200 for the cheese"
" reported to still be there as late as March of 1804 (at which point it was described as "very far from being good").[9] Apocryphal accounts assert that the last of it was served at a presidential reception in 1805, or that it was dumped in the Potomac at some date unknown"
Mammoth Cheese
In 1801, a Baptist congregation in Cheshire, MA, gifted a"mammoth cheese" to President Thomas Jefferson in honor of his support of religious liberty.
Thomas Jefferson's Monticello (www.monticello.org)
We must dive the Potomac, find the mummified rind of the cheese and destroy it to free the country from the terrible curse.
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@futurebird Jefferson was also a noted enthusiast for macaroni.
Mac & Cheese was not a common dish at that time, but I'm sure there's a way to connect all the dots.
Between this, the cheese, and calling the place Monticello I'm starting to think Jefferson was some kind of... weeb but for Italy?
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@futurebird @ramsey More like American Cheese.
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On the surface? It sounds charming, right? Harmless. But think again.
No one said "this is too much cheese, this is unseemly, cut it out" they just... went along with it.
Munched on it for months!
No one could question it.
And this is the root of the evil in the soul of this country. We are haunted by the specter of men who'd call their mansion something absurd and needlessly fancy like "Monticello" but then have a big cheese and think it's fine.
And that is my history for the day.
@futurebird I am profoundly uncomfortable with you disparaging cheese like this.
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@futurebird I am profoundly uncomfortable with you disparaging cheese like this.
All things in moderation. Even the divine may overwhelm if taken in excess.
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@corbden @futurebird @ramsey American cheese doesn't come in wheels. It comes in little plastic sleeves. If you had a wheel of American cheese, that really would be impressive.
@faithisleaping @corbden @ramsey
I think this is a joke... But American cheese comes in wheels. You are thinking of Processed American Cheese-Flavored "food" Product.
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On the surface? It sounds charming, right? Harmless. But think again.
No one said "this is too much cheese, this is unseemly, cut it out" they just... went along with it.
Munched on it for months!
No one could question it.
And this is the root of the evil in the soul of this country. We are haunted by the specter of men who'd call their mansion something absurd and needlessly fancy like "Monticello" but then have a big cheese and think it's fine.
And that is my history for the day.
@futurebird some day I shall have my own great wheel of cheese
https://www.costco.com/p/-/whole-wheel-parmigiano-reggiano-approximately-80-lbs/100096211 -
@futurebird some day I shall have my own great wheel of cheese
https://www.costco.com/p/-/whole-wheel-parmigiano-reggiano-approximately-80-lbs/100096211 -
F myrmepropagandist shared this topic
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@futurebird @clayfoot There is definitely absolutely a lot of smug pollution coming off of this photograph.
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@futurebird @clayfoot There is definitely absolutely a lot of smug pollution coming off of this photograph.
To be fair if I had that much cheese I might look MORE smug.
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To be fair if I had that much cheese I might look MORE smug.
@futurebird @clayfoot You admit your crime!
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@futurebird @clayfoot same energy
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@futurebird @clayfoot You admit your crime!
I have known the danger and it is why I am the perfect messenger of warning.
And the only one who could be trusted with THAT much cheese.
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@futurebird @clayfoot same energy
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On the surface? It sounds charming, right? Harmless. But think again.
No one said "this is too much cheese, this is unseemly, cut it out" they just... went along with it.
Munched on it for months!
No one could question it.
And this is the root of the evil in the soul of this country. We are haunted by the specter of men who'd call their mansion something absurd and needlessly fancy like "Monticello" but then have a big cheese and think it's fine.
And that is my history for the day.
@futurebird sounds like a Edgar Allen Poe story - "The Cheese of Monticello" - who knows what effects the eating of the cheese may have on its unsuspecting victims. Delirium? Jealousy? Lust for carbohydrates?
