@futurebird @faithisleaping
I'm pretty sure the majority of my own bullies knew damned well that they were being mean and no one would want to be treated the way I was; beyond merely not caring, they actively wanted to harm me specifically. There *was*, however, a minority who didn't actually *want* to bully me and was peer-pressured into it.

@pteryx @faithisleaping

"I half-wonder if some faculty secretly thinks bullying is a *good* thing that punishes misfits for them."

There are adults who think this. They are real and they are incorrect.

No, I can't make an outcast kid feel like they are a part of the class 100 percent. But, I can make them feel like they are just as valued as everyone else and deserve to be treated with respect.

Teens don't like it when you point out they are being a jerk. They will stop, or tone it down.

@futurebird @pteryx @faithisleaping

I had a teacher in high school ask the whole class at the beginning of the period to pray for me since I hadn’t let Jesus into my heart. Good times.

What is more true is the adults don't want to bother to set it up.

Just like no one really wants to chaperone the dance.

But we have figured out that NOT having the dance is worse.

It will leave some kids locked out socially, others will create events that are too adult or unsafe.

We need to show them how it could work. Part of the obstacle to doing this is how few *adults* know how to use social media in a constructive way. So maybe we all need lessons.

I think that schools should take on this role.

You could have a server for a school with mastodon, but not connected to the rest of the fedi, you could network with similar schools. Just like at the school dance the teachers are around so there are limits to how it's used.

Teens could post about their soccer games, advertise their clubs, make jokes, practice using the medium wisely.

When teens post to social media they care about their friends at school seeing the post most. 4/

@futurebird This is a great idea, but in the US, schools will be unwilling/unable to take on the legal responsibility/liability for such a structure.

@futurebird This is a fascinating idea and you've used an excellent social education metaphor in the school dance.

The great roadblock I anticipate would need to be overcome would be the legal liability, followed by the political and moral panic.

I was about to say no one freaks out about teaching math—but yeah, they do. Folks definitely freak out *more* when educators teach social skills or anything bordering on someone's idea of morality. This'd allow students to express themselves. Oh no!

@ELS

Schools have email and this isn't an issue? What new liabilities would be raised?

@futurebird I’m imagining that school email is not anonymous and I guess you’re imagining something more benign than current “wild” social media, where people feel that they can hide behind anonymity of a handle. If everyone were identified and there was true investment in moderating the network, it might work pretty well.

@ELS

I don't really see the point of having an anonymous network inside of a school. Hadn't even thought of doing that.

@futurebird Is the in-school email network limited to inside school? We have a university email network (actually, it’s gmail, but with the school edu handle), and everyone has an identifiable name, but it connects to the wider web. One thing I think that’s been specific to social media is that accounts can be “anonymous.” So, when you described an in-house social media network, I didn’t think through the possibility that accounts would never be anonymous. Anonymous accounts make the admin more responsible because blame cannot be assigned to anonymous individuals.

I've had people hear this idea scoff saying "teens will never use it" I don't think this is true. They ALL come to the dances, even though they are "so boring" -- and I think at some level they would feel better having a safer place to express themselves in photos, videos and writing for each other without every creep on the internet looking in on it.

Will some teens still find internet "after parties" Yes.

But right now we are basically saying you can go to the afterparty or NOTHING.

5/5

@jeffcliff

I guess I'm an unlikely champion of the school dance considering I hated the whole concept as a kid, only went to one under duress (it was too loud) and never went again.

I get a different perspective as a teacher and hope that we've encouraged something better than what I was exposed to when I was younger (which to be fair wasn't as bad as it could have been, even in 1997 I somehow was at a school that didn't mandate )

That all of the students show up I take as a good sign.

I think that schools should take on this role.

You could have a server for a school with mastodon, but not connected to the rest of the fedi, you could network with similar schools. Just like at the school dance the teachers are around so there are limits to how it's used.

Teens could post about their soccer games, advertise their clubs, make jokes, practice using the medium wisely.

When teens post to social media they care about their friends at school seeing the post most. 4/

@futurebird This is especially poignant with the just-started, boneheaded #SocialMediaBan here in #Australia. And there is nothing in the legislation that would stop it AFAIK, unless and until they were to try to add mastodon to the list of proscribed sites, and as it isn’t a site I don’t really see how that could even work. The rules are way too stupidly written to ban a federation protocol.

@DanielMReck

I would think hosting dances would have a lot more "liabilities"

@futurebird That's because you're sensible.

Dances do not typically create a perfect digital record of everything that happens at them, and social media platforms typically do. That's great for people investigating actual wrongdoing, but it also makes a gold mine of innocent content to be used by profit-seeking lawyers and disingenuous adults to intimidate, harass, and legally destroy whatever school tried to implement such a platform.

There's also those generally-ignored child privacy laws.

I've had people hear this idea scoff saying "teens will never use it" I don't think this is true. They ALL come to the dances, even though they are "so boring" -- and I think at some level they would feel better having a safer place to express themselves in photos, videos and writing for each other without every creep on the internet looking in on it.

Will some teens still find internet "after parties" Yes.

But right now we are basically saying you can go to the afterparty or NOTHING.

5/5

@futurebird yes! i've been thinking a lot about a related question:

now that more and more of our world is experienced through personal devices like smartphones and laptops, how do we gradually include children and youths in our adult world?

for instance: growing up there were newspapers on the table every day, and LP's on the shelf. pieces of a larger shared reality it was possible to learn from.

and then, of course, perhaps reject - but after at least exploring it for a bit.